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Diving Right In
From On Losing my Dad,
“…Your motto became
“Silence is golden,”
And you’d walk away when Mom was angry,
Sure you were doing the most loving thing.
How easy it is to
understand—even without agreeing
That experiences we’ve had can so
guide our actions…
I think at times, “I can’t be mourning. We
weren’t that close.
We didn’t see life the same way, believe the
same truths.”
And then I remember leaving my Mom’s hospital bed
Nearly 20 years ago, wailing as I was led away to the airport,
Not
because we were so close,
But because now my wish for that could
never come true…”
_______________________________________________________
From Reading in Bed,
“…Growing up, I don’t
remember ever being able to relax in bed.
I’d be reading a book and
be called down by Mom to help.
I wonder how many hours, days of
reading
It could take to “make up for” those years as on-call
helper.
It doesn’t matter now. I needn’t prove anything.
I can
tell my internalized Mom to just relax…”
__________________________________________________
From
To Fathers from a Mother,
“…What transformation allows
you
To look so vulnerable, so soft,
When your new baby is placed
in your arms,
When your teenager comes to you in tears?...
And
know, when you are divided inside,
How overjoyed I am
That
tender fathers
Are not an endangered species.”
_________________________________________
From When I
Say “I Love You”
“…Now your eyes are a pool I float in.
Your hands an invitation to rest.
My heart is a chalice I put to
your lips.
My fingers trace you even when you’re gone…”
___________________________________
From Homesteaded
Heart
“You come to me, arms open to encircle.
I step
back, sensing your desire,
Not ready to be claimed…
Don’t sign
papers to claim me.
Plant and work my rich soil as I will yours.
That harvest is our homestead.”
__________________________________
Addiction
I have to know, can’t bear to wait.
My future’s tied up; my life’s
good at stake.
What’s the rush--why can’t I relax?...
Why, no
drama in that! So let’s have some angst.
_______________________________________
From Unopened
Door
“…Am I drawn to you BECAUSE
I am so easily held
And need to balance that?
Because I need to heal the child pain
Of not being lifted
Lightly, naturally,
By parents who,
Naked
in their young need,
Met no circling arms?
Unable to give
What they never knew…”
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And besides the 80+ poems, there are 100’s of brief vignettes,
like these:
The Rooming House
Two
neatniks in my house have tried to keep me in line. It’s interesting
being the owner and getting pressure to clean up my act. I finally
transformed my storage sprawl into a neat basement that lifts me every
time I go down for a shower or laundry. I actually threw out three
garbage bags full of paper to recycle. My bedroom is even cleared
enough that I could lie on the floor and not touch anything, even if I
made an “angel” with my feet and arms. That MEANS something to me, I
tell you!
Men in my Life
I’ve had two
more three-month relationships since 1990, both with men I liked but
was not in love with. One even smoked, but was so thoughtful I could
not complain. Non-infatuation means less anxiety, but also less animal
delight. My skin hunger and sexual energy were satisfied. Yet, there’s
a place in my heart, a pit not dug deep enough to unearth its
treasure, that I long to have touched. It’s partly chemistry, partly
an undefinable heart connection. I’ll recognize it when I feel soft
and very tender. Yes, I’m a romantic. Maybe I should stop looking and
let it come to me. Hm…
Hi, Friends—I love the inclusive feel of
‘Friend.’ With some of you, friendship has been a solid reality for
months or years. Many of you made my 50th “Let’s-pretend-we’re-kids”
Birthday Party total joy as we walked in date-expired jello, used
mouths only in a chocolate pudding eating contest, pinned the eye on
the dinosaur, played “Expert” in such areas as matchbox house builder,
contorting legs around a broomstick, talking Southern, painting
toenails, and eating. Then the last few of us slumbered together till
breakfast. AAH!
A Place to Slow Down
I
pushed myself too hard for two weeks and I was so overextended that by
the 2nd Sunday I HAD to have peace. One of my favorite spots for
getting back to center is a cemetery. So I drove two miles and spent
five hours in the car there just BEING with the trees and silence.
When I really get in sync with Nature, I know all is just fine whether
I am still or being moved by whatever breezes life is blowing around
and through me.
Galloping Thoughts
As
far as my sometimes-compulsive doingness, I do at times feel like a
stampeding herd--like the momentum has pushed me in a direction I am
unable to turn back from. My business associate has made me aware of
my tendency to ask several questions at once. I need to rein in my
thoughts BEFORE they gallop across to the receiver, unequipped as s/he
may be with a mental sheepdog to nip at my heels and keep me on the
known trail.
Living life from the inside out: from
purpose to action
Hi, Friends, I recently published my
2nd book, Diving Right In: Reflecting on Life's Adventures, which has
80+ of my poems and 180 pages of vignettes, all very personal. (My
favorite quote from the back of the book: “You made me giggle, you
made me cry, you made me think, and you made me want to go out and do
something silly.”)
During Feb., instead of $15. (including
tax), I’m offering it for $13. if you get it directly from me. If I
mail it, I’ll add $2 for shipping. In March, it will be $15, and $17
if I mail it.
If you buy it and aren’t glad you have it, return
it to me and I’ll refund your money. You can pay when you get it from
me, on paypal.com, or send a check to Moreah Vestan, 5646 42nd Ave SW,
Seattle, WA 98136. Call 206-938-8385 with any questions.
Here
are some of the poem titles, followed by vignette titles.:
- Family and Friendship (section)
- Thoughts on Mother’s Day
- On
Losing my Dad
- To my Good Friend
- At Home (section)
- Cleaning
Out my Sock Drawer
- Humor for a Bedtime Snack
- Reflections on Life
and People (section)
- To Fathers from a Mother
- To My Children
Going Back To Their Dad
- Melancholy
- Half-Built Dream
- My Week
Down the Columbia River
- Romantic Relationships (section)
- Beside
Me
- Swept Away November 21, 1991
- When I Say “I Love You”
December 1991
- With a Lover on a Hill
- Hope at High Tide
- Exploring You
- Homesteaded Heart
- Boundaries
- Nature (section)
- Symphony of Birds
- Forest Fog
- To The Sun
- War and Peace
(section)
- Thoughts after a War Movie
- Dawn, January 16, 1991
- Berlin Reborn
- Self Reflections (section)
- Today’s River
- Inner
Hunger
- Listen to the Feel
- Freeway Park, 1977
- Ode to Comfort
- Pieces of the Puzzle
- Tranquility
- One of Those Days
- Inexpensive Delights
- The Call of Having a Cold
- My Beanie
Babies
- Waiting for the Bus
- Ideas of Human Nature
- What Does
it Matter?
- Ode to Pleasure
- Look Ahead
- No Preference
- Surrender
- From my Vignettes, often 3 to a page. Here are some of
the
- titles:
- Six Every Night
- My Wheelbarrow Rides
- OK, OK, I’ll
Do It
- How Do You Know You Are Loved?
- My Soul’s Poetry
- Dancing
in Safeway
- Sunday Satisfactions
- No Room for Guilt
- I Had to
Leave my Bed
- Daily Vacation
- Maybe Next Time
- I’ll Never Say
I’m Sorry
- Holiday Ambivalence
- It’s Okay Either Way
- Only One
Thing to Work On
- Sleeping in the Dining Room
- Seven Weeks in
Winter Hauling Water
- Paying to Find a Partner
- The Danger of
Buffets
- Declaration of Order
- A Senior Stripper
- Ah, Leftovers
- Taking it Off
- My Purpose in Life
- In the Back Seat in a Hailstorm
- I Wonder What They’re Thinking
- A Perfect Birthday
- Hard to Let Go
- Living on the Edge
- Doing my Own Thing
- Me First!
- Mom’s Cancer
- Don’t Hold Your Breath
- Confessions of a Compulsive Saver
- True
Love in the Bushes
- No Excuses Needed
- Harmony in the House Again
- Definition of a Friend
- Present or Future Security?
- My
Compulsions
- Unconditional Love
- Do I Want it Too Much?
- Experience Collector on the Go
- Trying on New Behavior
- Deals with
my Kids
- To my Son Leaving Home
- My M.S. in Overlooking Reality
- Is There Treatment for Packrats?
- No Advice, Please
- Grateful for
the Tears
- Marinating a Relationship
- Need It? Want It? Get It!
- I Love Attention
- What’s the Lesson
- Eavesdropping
- Do It Now,
Do It Anyway
- Two Massages in a Row
- Changing Image of God
- Galloping Thoughts
- All the Little Things
- How Men Feel
- Congruence vs. Peace.
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